Thursday, July 2, 2009

Rest In Peace my sweet baby boy 3-17-09 to 6-6-09

Our dear sweet baby Christian fought his battle long enough. He passed away in my arms yesterday afternoon at 5:02pm. They tried to resucitate him, but finally he just couldn't hold on anymore. I'll never be the same again, I have never felt this stale, hollow and hopeless in my life. Jason and I would like to thank you for all your thoughts and prayers. May Christian rest in peace and know that he was deeply loved by everyone.

God Bless,

Jason and Michelle

Christian Douglas Buktenica

March 17, 2009- June 6, 2009

I'll see you in heaven soon little monkey.
Mommy and Daddy will always love you

Friday, June 5, 2009

Daddy's Kangaroo Care 6-5-09

Jason got to kangaroo care for Christian this afternoon for 2 whole hours! He did so well and his little arms were wrapped around his chest the entire time! It was so adorable. His oxygen was able to be weened to 40 percent today! Can you believe that? I mean Sunday it was at a full 100%! Christian is a complete fighter and God is holding him in his hands with angels surrounded all around him. It makes me feel at ease leaving the hospital knowing that we have God to take care of things. God is good and lets continue praying!
With Love,
Jase and Michelle

Thursday, June 4, 2009

My First Kangaroo Session

This moment in time, stood completely still. The moment I felt his warm skin against mine was so unreal. He stayed content for 1 and a half hours. He slept most of it but did open his eyes for a few moments. I sang softly to him and kissed his head the whole time. I love my beautiful baby boy so much. He still needs your prayers. His lungs need to heal. P.S. He made 4lbs today!!!!!

Wednesday, June 3, 2009

Jason Held Christian Today!!!

First, there was the discovery of the new world... Then, there was the first man on the moon... And today, there was me holding my baby for the first time in almost 11 weeks, a day in my life that I will never, ever forget. All is not lost with his recovery.

On Sunday afternoon last week, Christian aspirated, stopped breathing and took ten minutes of resuscitation to recover from his episode. The doctors told us that he would more than likely not live through the episode. They told us that we would be able to hold him if he passed. We cried like we've never cried before. We prayed like we've never prayed before. I begged like I've never begged before.

And our prayers were heard. All of your prayers were heard.

Though he is still critical, Christian is still very much alive and with us. He survived his episode, though at what cost is still unknown. He has been on a steady dose of three antibiotics and nitric oxide. His oxygen levels have been extremely high. He has dipped and raised, dipped and raised, but he is seeming to recover. His color today was very pink and healthy and his weight is up to 3 lbs. 13 oz. He continues to grow and to look healthy as an ox on the outside. His lungs are showing minimal improvement from the x-rays, but he seems to be slowly getting better. The doctors told us he was as sick as a little baby can get and that he was septic from a severe infection.

However, he was well enough today that the nurses felt he was strong enough to be taken out of his incubator and placed in his daddy's arms, and I can't even begin to describe what a feeling it was. To receive such indescribable joy from an event that is taken for granted thousands of times a day around the world... It was incredible. Time stood still. It is a moment that will profoundly mark my lifetime and leave a lasting impact on my psyche. I held him for an hour and begrudgingly shared him with Michelle (I say begrudgingly with the utmost of love and affection) so that she too could hold him for an additional hour. After the ordeal we have been through the past few days, this meant more to us than any single other thing that we could have possibly received, done, heard, etc... Multiplied one hundred fold. It was simply indescribable.

Our prayer for a sign was answered today, and we continue to pray for our little boy. Please continue to pray with us for God to hold our little boy in His arms and to heal him. We love you all and appreciate your thoughts and prayers more than you will ever know. You have had a profound impact on this family's lives.

With Love,

Jason & Michelle

Sunday, May 31, 2009

Today is the worst day Jason and I have ever had... We received a phone call at 8:00am this morning from one of the neonatal specialists taking care of Christian, and he informed us that Christian had collapsed a lung and had to have his settings on his ventilator adjusted to very high levels. As we made our way to the hospital, we had an opportunity to discuss the matter more thoroughly with the nurses and the doctors once we got there. Basically, the doctor told us that he had the signs of a very severe infection and we could see that his skin tone was a very pale white. Christian was completely lethargic. As we went to the lactation room to pump, once we returned there was a whirlwind of activity happening around us. Doctors and nurses were rushing to Christian's bedside because his heart rate had severely dipped from the normal 160bpm to around 40bpm... the doctors could not get him to increase his heart rate. Our doctor sat us down and told us that he more than likely would not survive and that there was little they could do to keep him from passing. It took them 10 minutes of resuscitation to ultimately bring his heart rate back up. He is alive still but in very critical condition as he rests in the NICU tonight. We have praying and praying all afternoon and evening, and we thought we had lost him. However, we believe through our prayer that he is still holding on and that God will provide him with a full recovery. We are reaching out to you all, our friends and acquaintances to please pray for our son in his most dire time of need. We need your support right now more than ever and you all have been so phenomenal in providing us with your support in the past. We are pleading with you all to please say a special prayer for our son so that God may hear all of us praying for our beautiful baby boy's recovery.

In Love and Gratitude,

Michelle and Jason

Wednesday, May 27, 2009


Christian seems to be doing a little better today and yesterday. He may have to get the ROP surgery on his eyes, but the dr. said that he would rather wait it out til next week to see if it corrects itself. His weight is currently 3lbs 6 oz. Thank You for your continued prayers, please pray for his lungs.
Michelle and Jason

Monday, May 25, 2009

Please Pray

Christian has been having some oxygen trouble the past 2 days. It started Sunday morning around 6 am at shift change. He kept de-stating and hanging around 60 on his SPO2, and they had to bump his oxygen all the way to 100 percent. Poor baby, he was just not looking good. Well, finally they decided they would put him on nitric oxide which helped almost immediately. They were able to lower his oxygen to 57%. He got some blood today and now is on antibiotics. Please please pray for him. Pray that his lungs will heal and repair themselves. Pray for him to continue to be strong through all of this. Pray that his feedings will continue to go well.
Will keep you all updated.
Jase and Michelle